home, where i wanted to go, home

[jazzfish]

My apartment is further from the skytrain than I'd like, the heating is uneven, and most importantly The Rent Is Too Damn High.

And yet I don't want to move.

Since leaving home in 1995 I've moved thirteen times. That's counting one dorm room, and one move from a basement to an attic, but not the places I lived for less than a month. Still. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

So I think about packing everything into boxes again, and changing my address in a dozen places, and renting a truck, and just living somewhere different, and I start to ... not panic, not exactly. It's somewhere between "scared" and "just don't wanna."

Something about this apartment feels like home, like permanence, in a way that nothing else ever has. There's light, and space, and a sense of having chosen to be here.

And today in the too-bright autumn sunshine I saw a perfect V of Canada geese fly behind the hotel across the way.

I like it here.

Which doesn't make the rent any less Damn High.

Comments

[jazzfish]

:) That works.

I never felt like I had a choice in where I lived until I left Blacksburg, so I never let myself like it or not like it. Combination of not wanting to get emotionally attached to something I can't change, and to something that's going to be changed for me in a couple of years regardless.

I liked my apartment(s) in McLean (DC area) well enough but they always felt temporary. I knew I wasn't going to be staying there forever.

I guess this is the first place I've let myself fall in love with.

Still, this is Vancouver. There are lots of amazing places to live, with a view of the mountains, with light and space.

*nod* This is very true. Hard to hold onto when faced with the need to box everything up again, and still true.