home, where i wanted to go, home
Sep. 25th, 2013 02:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jazzfishMy apartment is further from the skytrain than I'd like, the heating is uneven, and most importantly The Rent Is Too Damn High.
And yet I don't want to move.
Since leaving home in 1995 I've moved thirteen times. That's counting one dorm room, and one move from a basement to an attic, but not the places I lived for less than a month. Still. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
So I think about packing everything into boxes again, and changing my address in a dozen places, and renting a truck, and just living somewhere different, and I start to ... not panic, not exactly. It's somewhere between "scared" and "just don't wanna."
Something about this apartment feels like home, like permanence, in a way that nothing else ever has. There's light, and space, and a sense of having chosen to be here.
And today in the too-bright autumn sunshine I saw a perfect V of Canada geese fly behind the hotel across the way.
I like it here.
Which doesn't make the rent any less Damn High.
And yet I don't want to move.
Since leaving home in 1995 I've moved thirteen times. That's counting one dorm room, and one move from a basement to an attic, but not the places I lived for less than a month. Still. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
So I think about packing everything into boxes again, and changing my address in a dozen places, and renting a truck, and just living somewhere different, and I start to ... not panic, not exactly. It's somewhere between "scared" and "just don't wanna."
Something about this apartment feels like home, like permanence, in a way that nothing else ever has. There's light, and space, and a sense of having chosen to be here.
And today in the too-bright autumn sunshine I saw a perfect V of Canada geese fly behind the hotel across the way.
I like it here.
Which doesn't make the rent any less Damn High.