50 People On 'The Most Intellectual Joke I Know'
: I am of course partial to #13 but many of the rest are good as well.
#15: Q: Who does Polyphemus hate more than Odysseus?Book of Lamentations
: "Something has gone terribly wrong in the world; we are living the wrong life, a life without any real fulfillment. The newly published DSM-5 is a classic dsytopian novel in this mold." In which the DSM-V is reviewed.As my tweet has gone viral both on tumblr and twitter...
: "...I'm getting disturbed by how more than a few guys have responded by telling me that this tactic wouldn’t stop them, or that it would encourage them to hit on women more." ARGH ARGH ARGH the tags for the linked post are the best available expression of my headdeskery.
And the thing is, the guys saying 'haha that won't stop me' are saying that because they're getting a response, and any response is sufficient reason for them to keep going. (No response is sufficient reason for them to step it up.) There's no way for the target to 'win,' to get left alone. These aren't people who have any interest in her desires. It's the same dynamic as kids' teasing/bullying, and if these self-proclaimed grade-school-social-outcast geeks had any modicum of self-reflection they'd be deeply ashamed of themselves.10 reasons you should stop being so irrationally upset about your hair being repeatedly set on fire
: "3. Because Webster’s Dictionary defines 'fire' as 'a state, process, or instance of combustion in which fuel or other material is ignited and combined with oxygen, giving off light, heat, and flame.' I see neither light, heat, nor flame, but merely a progressive singeing, reddening of the scalp, and a sulfurous smell. Your hair is therefore not on fire by any definition of 'fire' of which I am aware."Extinct tree grows anew from ancient jar of seeds unearthed by archaeologists
: "For the next four decades, the ancient seeds were kept in a drawer at Tel Aviv's Bar-Ilan University. But then, in 2005, botanical researcher Elaine Solowey decided to plant one and see what, if anything, would sprout."Robbing Banks for the CIA
: "'Hey, I got this job for you where you're going to get paid 25K,' Carolina Villegas wrote. 'Doing what?' Torres asked. 'Robbing banks,' she texted. Torres started laughing. 'Is this a joke?' he wondered. Soon Villegas was on the phone explaining that it was a government job. And it was legal." (Spoiler: it wasn't actually legal.)Priority Mail Large Flat Rate Board Game Box
: "Fits two average-sized board games." I <3 the USPS.Some thoughts on the state of screenwriting in 2013
, or, why I have next to no desire to write a screenplay despite my love of dialogue: "If you want someone else to pay to make your screenplay into a movie, you must
learn to work within commercially acceptable forms, otherwise you are of no use to Hollywood
and they will not hire you
."New Metro subway cars signal the end of an era
: "Eventually -- in the 2040s, probably -- the last remaining brown-striped aluminum subway car in the nation's capital will disappear." Also note that many of the cars from the original batch in the 1970s are still in service
, which is both amazing (built to last!) and terrifying (built to 1970s safety standards!).