home, where i wanted to go, home

[jazzfish]

My apartment is further from the skytrain than I'd like, the heating is uneven, and most importantly The Rent Is Too Damn High.

And yet I don't want to move.

Since leaving home in 1995 I've moved thirteen times. That's counting one dorm room, and one move from a basement to an attic, but not the places I lived for less than a month. Still. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

So I think about packing everything into boxes again, and changing my address in a dozen places, and renting a truck, and just living somewhere different, and I start to ... not panic, not exactly. It's somewhere between "scared" and "just don't wanna."

Something about this apartment feels like home, like permanence, in a way that nothing else ever has. There's light, and space, and a sense of having chosen to be here.

And today in the too-bright autumn sunshine I saw a perfect V of Canada geese fly behind the hotel across the way.

I like it here.

Which doesn't make the rent any less Damn High.

Comments

[aamcnamara]

I hear ya. It's a great feeling to know I will be living in this same place for a calendar year--I don't even have to leave for Thanksgiving like I did in college--I will never have to go stay somewhere else unless I want to. For an entire year. And although we shall see how the heating bills turn out, I am kind of inclined to keep living here for a while, just because Not Moving sounds like such a very good thing right now.

[jazzfish]

oh man, Not Moving is one of the best things about not being in college anymore. (Not Having Roommates was pretty high on that list too. I have fond memories of the time I got my first place by myself, and I stayed in my tiny apartment and did not see another human being for thirty-six straight hours, and it was /glorious/.)

Best of luck with the heating bills!