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[jazzfish]

TO: Igor's Body Shop & Organ Repair

Dear sir or madam,

Enclosed please find one (1) pair lungs (male), which are no longer performing according to the specifications. In fact these lungs have never performed according to the specifications, but their flaws are becoming rapidly more apparent.

As the original owner of these lungs, I can assure you that they have been treated with the utmost care and respect. Their poor performance is a workmanship defect, and not a result of accidental or deliberate injury. As such, they qualify for replacement under your "lifetime warranty" policy.

Regards,
jazzfish

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Because SERIOUSLY, lungs, WHAT THE HELL. If it's over seventy-five outside you complain about the heat and humidity, so I figured that today you'd be good with the gorgeously cool sixty-five degree weather. But NO, you have to go all drama-prone on me, freezing up and gasping for air. You'd think the Snow Queen had shoved a splinter of ice through my chest and missed my heart.

Comments

[jazzfish]

Surprisingly enough, the air quality seems fairly decent around here. Maybe it's worse in the mornings.