hack koff wheeze
Aug. 7th, 2009 09:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
TO: Igor's Body Shop & Organ Repair
Dear sir or madam,
Enclosed please find one (1) pair lungs (male), which are no longer performing according to the specifications. In fact these lungs have never performed according to the specifications, but their flaws are becoming rapidly more apparent.
As the original owner of these lungs, I can assure you that they have been treated with the utmost care and respect. Their poor performance is a workmanship defect, and not a result of accidental or deliberate injury. As such, they qualify for replacement under your "lifetime warranty" policy.
Regards,
jazzfish
Because SERIOUSLY, lungs, WHAT THE HELL. If it's over seventy-five outside you complain about the heat and humidity, so I figured that today you'd be good with the gorgeously cool sixty-five degree weather. But NO, you have to go all drama-prone on me, freezing up and gasping for air. You'd think the Snow Queen had shoved a splinter of ice through my chest and missed my heart.
Dear sir or madam,
Enclosed please find one (1) pair lungs (male), which are no longer performing according to the specifications. In fact these lungs have never performed according to the specifications, but their flaws are becoming rapidly more apparent.
As the original owner of these lungs, I can assure you that they have been treated with the utmost care and respect. Their poor performance is a workmanship defect, and not a result of accidental or deliberate injury. As such, they qualify for replacement under your "lifetime warranty" policy.
Regards,
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Because SERIOUSLY, lungs, WHAT THE HELL. If it's over seventy-five outside you complain about the heat and humidity, so I figured that today you'd be good with the gorgeously cool sixty-five degree weather. But NO, you have to go all drama-prone on me, freezing up and gasping for air. You'd think the Snow Queen had shoved a splinter of ice through my chest and missed my heart.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 07:50 pm (UTC)It might be worth looking into. So, sure, thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 01:46 am (UTC)I'll see what I can find.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 02:54 pm (UTC)(I can't really tell if it's actually getting worse, or if I'm just working my lungs harder than they're used to. Probably a little of column A, a little of column B.)
Also, j00 r0x0r.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 02:58 pm (UTC)I'll take a look and see what I can find. You in VA, right? Is the DC area in general okay, or are there specific places you'd prefer to drive to a practitioner?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 03:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 03:17 pm (UTC)(Icon chosen for ironic effect. Winter Is Coming, my ass.)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-09 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-18 01:29 pm (UTC)But then my free-association took over.
"They say you are a snow queen, but honey I don't think that's true..."
Obviously, someone needs to do a mashup of these two things.