hack koff wheeze

[jazzfish]

TO: Igor's Body Shop & Organ Repair

Dear sir or madam,

Enclosed please find one (1) pair lungs (male), which are no longer performing according to the specifications. In fact these lungs have never performed according to the specifications, but their flaws are becoming rapidly more apparent.

As the original owner of these lungs, I can assure you that they have been treated with the utmost care and respect. Their poor performance is a workmanship defect, and not a result of accidental or deliberate injury. As such, they qualify for replacement under your "lifetime warranty" policy.

Regards,
jazzfish

---

Because SERIOUSLY, lungs, WHAT THE HELL. If it's over seventy-five outside you complain about the heat and humidity, so I figured that today you'd be good with the gorgeously cool sixty-five degree weather. But NO, you have to go all drama-prone on me, freezing up and gasping for air. You'd think the Snow Queen had shoved a splinter of ice through my chest and missed my heart.

Comments

[solestria.livejournal.com]

If you're interested in trying acupuncture, I'll happily help you find a decent practitioner in the area.

[jazzfish]

Huh. Is this really something that can be helped by acupuncture? I figured it was just a case of 'more exercise' or something.

It might be worth looking into. So, sure, thank you!

[solestria.livejournal.com]

Possibly, though I'm not clear on what exactly is going on.

I'll see what I can find.

[jazzfish]

I've always thought of it as "a mild case of exercise/cold-induced asthma." I don't know if that's accurate or not. I was tested in high school one summer (so, not during the cold), and came in about five units short of having an actual documentable case of exercise-induced asthma.

(I can't really tell if it's actually getting worse, or if I'm just working my lungs harder than they're used to. Probably a little of column A, a little of column B.)

Also, j00 r0x0r.

[solestria.livejournal.com]

Ah--if it's a form of asthma, then acupuncture and Chinese herbs can probably help. Cold is a pathogenic factor in Chinese Medicine, BTW (as is Heat), so there's that as well. Speaking with someone you're interested in scheduling with can confirm this for you, too.

I'll take a look and see what I can find. You in VA, right? Is the DC area in general okay, or are there specific places you'd prefer to drive to a practitioner?

[jazzfish]

Hm, okay. Cool. I'm willing to drive most anywhere that's near the Beltway; I prefer the east and north halves (so, Montgomery County, the eastern part of P.G.Co., and the north part of Fairfax County).

[pooka798.livejournal.com]

LOL....drama-prone lungs! That made me laugh so hard!

[nixve.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's a Snow Queen in training and the lack of winter is throwing her off.

[jazzfish]

. . . you know, I'd almost believe that.

(Icon chosen for ironic effect. Winter Is Coming, my ass.)

[babushek.livejournal.com]

OUCH. *sends sympathy and hugs*

[jazzfish]

Thanks. Here's hoping it gets better with effort. I'm a little afraid it's as 'better' as it's going to get.

[playing-tragic.livejournal.com]

Air quality also affects sensitive lungs. A good site to check your local air quality forecast is: airnow.gov.

[jazzfish]

Surprisingly enough, the air quality seems fairly decent around here. Maybe it's worse in the mornings.

[ndkid.livejournal.com]

So, my first mental association was with the cut scene from FFVIII... which, let's be fair, was almost the only good thing about FFVIII.

But then my free-association took over.
"They say you are a snow queen, but honey I don't think that's true..."

Obviously, someone needs to do a mashup of these two things.