jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
COMMENTER 1: I'll predict that when he's dead and buried, the ground will be quite damp.
COMMENTER 2: And have a certain Musk also, too? One can but hope.

Look, if you're gonna leave me an opening iambic pentameter line the morning after I've been rereading Mike Ford, I'm gonna take it.

Well, I'll predict that when he's dead and buried,
The ground above his corpse will be quite damp
And have a certain Musk of odor, carried
To grace our noses with that acrid stamp.
Upon gold highlights golden showers splash,
Reflecting further graveyard elegies.
Veneer peels back; someone has saved some cash
With accents from Home Depot shopping sprees.
His plastic headstone rapidly decays,
Collapsing into softened earth, until,
Weaken'd by overzealous acid sprays,
It's indistinguishable from landfill.
    So shall that asshole lie; then we'll begin
    To scrub the mess he's left our country in.

Not bad for under an hour's work.
jazzfish: a Black woman in a headscarf, profile, with a bow and arrow tattoo on her shoulder (Artemis)
I ended up watching the eclipse in Akron, OH, not quite an hour south of Cleveland. Steph's cousin Sarah and her husband Don have a huge house there, and they were happy to put us (me, Steph, Steph's kid Gemma) up for the extended-weekend. Erin made a set of five eclipse mugs, one for everyone there, all a little different in style and shape and handle so folks could pick the one that fit for them; it was a quite nice way to have her there in spirit.

everything under the sun is in tune )
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
Twenty years ago, when prompted to "name an album that is perfect all the way through, no filler," I immediately responded "Songs for Drella."

I just listened to it for the first time in *mumble* years. I vaguely remembered it as being kind of slow and dragging in bits, and maybe not entirely to my taste anymore.

Wrong. It holds up.


This is a rock group called the Velvet Underground
We show movies on them, do you like their sound?
I only know Todd Haynes as the director of I'm Not There. I've not seen this but I am told it's sort of a biopic of Bob Dylan, with multiple actors, including Cate Blanchett, playing Dylan. So I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he made a documentary on the Velvet Underground.

Erin and I watched it last week. It's good, I think. Lots of neat split-screening, sometimes with the sound of a recorded interview rolling (sometimes from the sixties, sometimes contemporary) and a Warhol movie portrait of the speaker on one side of the screen.

I'm a John Cale fan from way back and got into the Velvets as a result of that, so there weren't a whole bunch of surprises. The doc spends a lot of time on Cale and on Lou Reed, where they came from, how they got together, how they made that first amazing album as part of Andy Warhol's Factory. It's got less to say about White Light/White Heat, and after Reed fired Cale even less to say about the last two albums as the Velvets turned into The Lou Reed Backing Band. But, you know, the Warhol and Cale stuff is what I'm interested in, and that was well done and neat.

I came into this with a belief that Lou Reed was an egomanic asshole, and I was not disabused of this notion.


The trouble with personalities, they're too wrapped up in style
It's too personal, they're in love with their own guile
After Andy died, Lou Reed and John Cale collaborated (their first collaboration since White Light/White Heat) on a 1990 album called Songs For Drella, subtitled A Fiction. It's sort of a bio of Andy in bits and pieces, and sort of Lou and John processing their grief and anger and pain at Andy. It's a bare-bones production: Lou, John, Lou's guitar, John's piano and occasionally viola.

There exists a video for the album, which I guess is a concert film; it was released on VHS and is available here on Youtube. The description reads in part "Cale is fantastic on keyboards and viola and for once Reed actually sings and plays well," which is accurate.

I dunno. I don't know how to talk about music, even less than I know how to talk about books or movies. It works for me. It is my favourite John Cale album, narrowly edging out his other 1990 collaboration, Wrong Way Up with Brian Eno. I don't listen to it often but it's maybe more effective for that.

Lou, apparently, remained an egomanic asshole and control freak. He and John kept civil long enough to do the Velvet Underground reunion concert in 1993, and then never worked together again.


It's a Czechoslovakian custom my mother passed on to me
The way to make friends, Andy, is to invite them in for tea
Twenty-five years ago this past summer, Steph and I showed up late to the movie theatre in Dupont Circle. We clumsily made our way past seated moviegoers to our seats, where I proceeded to explode a packet of Reese's Pieces all over the place. We were there to see Basquiat, because it had David Bowie playing Andy Warhol, and we came in in the middle of the "suicide hotline" montage, so we had basically no idea what was going on.

That movie... that movie. It is probably not, objectively, a good movie; it's certainly not an accurate depiction of Jean-Michel Basquiat's life. But it's still compelling. It's why I started following Jeffrey Wright and Claire Forlani, it got me interested in Warhol. And the soundtrack... the last track was Cale's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," which was enough to send me down the John Cale rabbit hole.

He's been prolific since leaving the Velvets but his stuff tends to be obscure and go in and out of print. So it was another few years before I tracked down a copy of Songs For Drella.

Listening to the album again just feels like the late nineties, living in a rundown four-bedroom apartment with Mandy and Justin and Kym later replaced by Vond, next door to Emily who basically never slept at her place. Late nights with Jonathan and Stephen, role-playing games with whoever run by whoever. Road trips to DC or Origins, a box of CDs to hand, making other people listen to Cale's "Pablo Picasso" or "Heartbreak Hotel" (yes). And sometimes, just sometimes, putting on "Songs for Drella" and listening to it all the way through.

I'm not that guy anymore, and I'm mostly glad for that, but sometimes he had really good taste.
jazzfish: Randall Munroe, xkcd180 ("If you die in Canada, you die in Real Life!") (Canada)
It will have been raining in Harvard Square for only half an hour when you give up hope.

On Monday I got laid off. I spent the next couple of days lazily rounding up personal documents and potential writing samples from the work laptop.

Today I transferred those to my home machine, cleared all personal touches from the work laptop, and shut it down for the last time. Then I went out and stood on the porch for a little while.

The Fraser River was mostly empty. In the distance, a barge full of dirt passed out of view behind Annacis Island.

You cannot know what will happen next.
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
In case you missed it, [livejournal.com profile] janni is having a sagafic/sagacraft contest to celebrate the release of her new book. I took a look at it last week, and one of the prompts just kind of grabbed me.

(975 words. Prompt: "Three shells in return for my poem." Comments welcome.)

Three Shells )
jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
Clear blue sky this morning, right up until I passed under the bridge to Tysons. At that point I could see the purple-grey cold front lined up like a mountain range.

It made me homesick.

I joke that the only things I miss about Blacksburg are Zeppoli's, Long Shop, and Spiel. Really, what I miss are the mountains, in ways I can't describe because I only consciously miss them when I'm someplace where they are. It's not even like something I'm missing, it's just a blind spot. My brain skips over it and there's just this nagging sense that the horizon really oughtn't be that low.

Ice tonight, and snow tomorrow. It's good to have a winter again.
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
It's not just that there's fog. It's not just that I couldn't see the other side of 7 when I came in this morning, or that the far end of the parking deck has been wrapped in gauzy grey-white.

It's that it's late November, and several spindly maples (?) in the lot below are still clothed in harvest-fire leaves, and they can't help but glow through the fog.

Last Monday morning the stretch of grass/creek/powerline on Braddock Road faded into nothingness about a hundred feet out.

I've missed this so much.
jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
I've been a fan of John Cale ever since I heard his cover of "Hallelujah" over the closing credits of Basquiat in 1996. I picked up the Seducing Down the Door box set in 1998, just in time to inflict it on [livejournal.com profile] vond during the drive to Origins. (I remember being really impressed by "A Child's Christmas in Wales" and "Paris 1919," and scandalized by "Pablo Picasso.") My enthusiasm has dampened somewhat over the years; I'm willing to concede that, for instance, "Honi Soit" isn't to my taste, and "Walking on Locusts" is kind of mediocre. Regardless, he's done some absolutely bloody brilliant stuff, like the "Paris 1919" album, or "Hobo Sapiens" and "5 Tracks" from 2003. Plus, he's Welsh.

Because he's Welsh, he's culturally obligated to have a deep and abiding appreciation for Dylan Thomas. Since he's a classically trained violist and composer, sometime in the 1980s he got the idea to compose an orchestral arrangement of some of Thomas's poems. The result, including "Lie Still, Sleep Becalmed," "On a Wedding Anniversary," "There Was a Saviour," and of course "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night," is entitled "The Falklands Suite," and was released in 1989 on the "Words for the Dying" album.

So far so good. I've had a copy of the album for ages now; I don't listen to it often because I don't listen to instrumentals often, but it's decent stuff. One of the later tracks ("The Soul of Carmen Miranda") is both a good song in its own right and a neat precursor to the Eno/Cale collaboration "Wrong Way Up."

Where it gets interesting is that the process of making the album was filmed, and the "Words for the Dying" film was recently released on DVD. I picked it up a few weeks ago and, since the creative was mostly gone from my brain, watched it this afternoon instead of writing. It's neat; Cale and Eno (who produced the album) fly to Moscow to record the orchestral tracks over the course of a week, then to Wales to get the boys' choir backup track, and then record Cale's vocals. There's attendant drama when Eno refuses to be filmed, and a stopover to sell Cale's now-abandoned and -vandalized boyhood home without upsetting his mother (who speaks only Welsh).

Now. All of that was a lead-up to how, the last two days they were in Moscow, Cale and Eno had a bassist, Rodion Azarkhin, come in to play. Cale says "I've heard recordings. He plays Paganini, which is a nightmare on the violin." And he does. He is, to put it bluntly, absobleeping incredible. He does things with the bass that I didn't think were possible. Here, have a sample of Azarkhin's playing. Those high notes that sound like they ought to be coming from a violin? Yeah. That's a bass. You can tell by how the sound is so much richer, more full. (At least, you can if you've spent the last twenty-some years grumbling at how the squeaky violins always get all the good parts.)

I'm not entirely clear as to why Azarkhin came in. I think it was partly just because Cale wanted to meet and hear him. Cale and Eno spent a day working on a song, Year of the Patriot, with him playing bass, but it seems to have never gotten anywhere. The song wasn't included on "Words for the Dying." The two of them were trying to get Azarkhin to make these dissonant high harmonics that I can't imagine anything in his training had prepared him for. And yet, the video at the link (taken from the "Words for the Dying" film) has just a snippet, maybe thirty seconds of song, and it's as unsettling and powerful as anything Cale's done.

(The film has several additional shots of Azarkhin playing for Cale. Two things: first, he's absolutely gigantic, to the point where the bass standing next to him looks perfectly normal-sized; second, he uses some sort of strange modified bow and grips it sideways, rather than overhand.)

Also at the "Year of the Patriot" link are a couple of paragraphs of interview with Cale about working with Azarkhin, and another link to an intensely depressing interview (scroll down, and ignore the black-text-on-blue-background if you can). I mean, really, what was I expecting from the life of a Russian symphony musician who was born under Stalin? But it just keeps on being so very. . . Russian.

Still. Because of this man, there exists a recording of "Flight of the Bumble Bee" played on a bass. ([livejournal.com profile] uilos: "It actually sounds like a bumble bee.") I have nothing deep or insightful to say about the relationship between art and pain, or whether the existence of Azarkhin's music can in any way justify what he'd been through. All I can do is admire.
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
Today is Sunreturn. The dark of the year has passed and we've not given up. From here on up it's all downhill. &c., &c.

I celebrate Sunreturn as a reminder that, even when all the evidence I can see points to being locked in the same frozen patterns forever, there's still hope. The world moves on and so do I.

It's not really a joyful kind of holiday. That's more Spring's forte. Sunreturn is. . . the faith that one's efforts will be rewarded. Even (especially) when those efforts are "only" surviving. It gets better, it gets easier. One day you'll look around and notice that there's a bit more light in the sky, a touch less chill in the air. This will happen, is the message of Sunreturn. All that's asked of you is patience, persistence, and the strength to survive.

These are not trivial things. They're also not hopeless ones.

A peaceful Sunreturn to you all.

fragment

Dec. 30th, 2007 01:09 pm
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
"It doesn't look all that fragile."

"Great lady, the cage is woven tight and solid. The casing has taken the blow of a sledgehammer with nary a scratch. Never, in the thirty years I have been constructing these charms, have any shattered, save at the will of their bearers."

"Then why warn me to be careful with it?"

"Because, great lady, such baubles have been known to rend the hearts of those who carry them."

--from "Lampwork, and Other Glass"

(inspired by a pendant by Elise Matthesen, after R. Sean Borgstrom)
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
By now I'm sure everyone has seen the Awesomest Thing On The Internets: Wired Magazine's Very Short Stories. ("Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time" --Alan Moore)

It's easy to write okay-to-pretty-good ones:
This book didn't change your life.

"If that's not your left arm . . ."

Sobbing, he pressed the DELETE key.
So, tell me a story, or two, or three. They don't have to be amazingly brilliant, secrets of Art in six words or anything; they just have to make me smile, or blink, or catch my breath.

They just have to be you. And very short.
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
It's raining. Honest-to-gosh raining, dark and cold, veiling the world in mist and drizzle. Stepping out the door this morning, into the cold and wet and soft wind, I felt utterly renewed. I hadn't realised how unbearably dry August has been until now. I've been waiting my whole life for this rainstorm.

I spend so much of summer focused on knowing that fall comes immediately after. Tonight, I felt cold outside for the first time in months. It was awesome, and I felt a sense of physical possibility and movement towards something.
--[livejournal.com profile] fuzzyamy

The early-morning sense that anything could happen. The curious unmistakeable hiss of wet tires on wet asphalt as headlights grow large and rush past. (All cars are grey in the dark.) The quiet communion with a world poised and ready for . . . something.

Feeling the wind rise up tonight, I remember how much I love the feel of a storm arriving . . . One way or another, everything is going to be cleansed in the aftermath.
--[livejournal.com profile] baranoouji
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
A month or so ago, while I was staying at Stephen and Shondra's, I broke out my cello. Tuned it up, surprised myself by still being able to do that much. Played a few songs. Determined that I'm at about a second- or third-year level. My fingers still know where first position is, and with only a little time they find second through fourth alright. I can't shift nearly fast enough to play anything for real, though.

I was never a very good cellist. I practiced (not nearly enough), I took lessons for many years, I played in orchestras and quartets, but I was missing something. Partly it was the practice. More of it was a lack of any kind of soul to my playing. I always secretly suspected that you could program a robot to play the cello as "musically" as my teachers were telling me to play it. Notes, dynamics, tempo, it's all reducable to digital eventually.

Point of the story: that night, in the middle of a Gavotte from Suzuki book 2 or 3, I shocked myself by actually playing the dynamics (volume changes) as written. Not because they were written, but because I could tell, for the first time in my life, that that was how the piece was meant to sound. I'm no longer remotely in practice, and who knows if I'll have the time or inclination to play once I'm moved in, but I seem to have some sort of intuitive grasp on the nebulosities of music now. I'm honestly not sure what to make of that.



I took a semester-long photography class in high school. It was easily the single coolest class I had. Playing around in the darkroom is its own reward. More than that, though, there was the sensation that I could draw a box around a scene and have it be Art, have it evoke an emotional response. I even shot a couple of pictures that succeeded in that goal.

But it's not something I've ever understood. I look at pictures other people have taken, and I catch my breath. They're just that damn good. I know it's all in angle, and lighting, and subject matter, and focus, and frame, and I still have no comprehension of how they work.

Case in point: this photograph. The post is worth reading, too, but the photo caught me for unrelated reasons. It's beautiful. The light, the positioning. I could take a thousand pictures and get that lucky once-- and maybe, maybe, recognise it and not throw the picture away with the other nine hundred ninety-nine. Technique, yes, but more importantly knowing how to apply it. Seeing the photograph that will be, and saying "This is good."



Words are easy. I know how to make them do what I want. I should; I've been busily surrounding myself with them from the time I was five.

Yet I can't explain it. I can't tell other people, "This is how to write." Words about words fail me, as do words about music, or photography.

Ultimately the world is analog, after all.
jazzfish: Pig from "Pearls Before Swine" standing next to a Ball O'Splendid Isolation (Ball O'Splendid Isolation)
(It's not Blake but it's more urgent, because I can feel it getting away from me with every minute I spend in this room.)

Out the door and into Straylight, and away. Click a button and down go the windows, click a button and up goes the sunroof. Turn up "Kind of Blue" a little louder, get Miles and Coltrane and the rest flowing right through my skin to whisper across my bones.

Glide down the ramp onto four-sixty, see the fog filling gaps between the streetlights. Gas to sixty and cruise. The wind runs his fingers through my hair, the hazy brown-yellow mist more inviting than anything I've seen in weeks. I feel . . . not more alive, but less. The worries remain but they're not so important, just small voices at the back of my brain.

Times like this, I want to just go. Pick a patch of fog and head off into it, never to be heard from again. There's no Blake in the mist, no Incompletes or apartments or jobs. The mist doesn't care, and after awhile neither will I.

Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white

--Adam Duritz

and a pome

May. 11th, 2005 12:35 pm
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
To paraphrase Steven Brust Neil Gaiman talking about Steven Brust, I don't write poems. This is one of the poems I don't write.

Swan Song )

a play

May. 11th, 2005 12:32 pm
jazzfish: artist painting a bird, looking at an egg for reference (Clairvoyance)
As always, comments welcome.

Orders )

winter

Jan. 23rd, 2005 11:20 pm
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
Snow on the ground and a full moon overhead. As soon as I step outside I'm assaulted by a lightly-tinted glow all around. A pale blue, so pale I don't even recognise it at first. Just the thought "I've wandered onto a movie set." That specific shade of blue that indicates Nighttime, the heroine looking around nervously and speaking in echoing whispers. Far away, stars so sharp and cold they could cut right through your fingers and you'd never feel a thing.

cat

Oct. 3rd, 2004 10:17 pm
jazzfish: a black-haired man with a big sword. blood stains the snow behind (Eddard Stark)
John is out of town this weekend, so the cats are lonely. Especially Ford, who needs a lot of attention.

I hear yowling from downstairs, and my first response is "It's okay, Tommy, we're up here."

ramble )

Ford is sitting on my lap now. He doesn't seem to mind that he's gotten a little wet, or that I stop petting him to type every so often.

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Adventures in Mamboland

"Jazz Fish, a saxophone playing wanderer, finds himself in Mamboland at a critical phase in his life." --Howie Green, on his book Jazz Fish Zen

Yeah. That sounds about right.

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