"mumble, mumble, mumble."
Jan. 13th, 2004 12:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jazzfishLadies and gentlemen, the pomegranate (courtesy ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
baranoouji). Not to be confused with zerblinitzky's kiwi preparation.
Dinner with most of the cast plus Barb the director and Chris the stage manager. Barb cooked spaghetti and a meat sauce. Pretty good stuff. Then we sat around and talked for awhile.
I can say "I just don't like groups of new people," but it's not that simple. Partly I find them kind of boring (read: not interested in the same things I am), but there's also the constant feeling of having to check myself. To not (e.g.) go on at length about Return of the King and what the point of the Scouring of the Shire was, or why it wasn't included in the movie, because they don't care. What do I care what other people think? A lot, evidently. My clothes, my reading material, my hobbies; with these it doesn't so much worry me that they're Not Normal. (Name me one other person who wears a beat-up trenchcoat and sandals in the dead of winter.) But my thoughts. . . that's where I can be hurt. (It's like being back in junior high. Maybe because that was the last time I tried to interact socially with people with whom I had very little in common.) So I clam up. I try to be thought more-or-less 'normal.' I hate it, but I hate more the sideways stares I get when I open my mouth.
It's been days since I've had a real unguarded conversation. Clearly I need to hunt someone down and babble at zir.
baranoouji). Not to be confused with zerblinitzky's kiwi preparation.
Dinner with most of the cast plus Barb the director and Chris the stage manager. Barb cooked spaghetti and a meat sauce. Pretty good stuff. Then we sat around and talked for awhile.
I can say "I just don't like groups of new people," but it's not that simple. Partly I find them kind of boring (read: not interested in the same things I am), but there's also the constant feeling of having to check myself. To not (e.g.) go on at length about Return of the King and what the point of the Scouring of the Shire was, or why it wasn't included in the movie, because they don't care. What do I care what other people think? A lot, evidently. My clothes, my reading material, my hobbies; with these it doesn't so much worry me that they're Not Normal. (Name me one other person who wears a beat-up trenchcoat and sandals in the dead of winter.) But my thoughts. . . that's where I can be hurt. (It's like being back in junior high. Maybe because that was the last time I tried to interact socially with people with whom I had very little in common.) So I clam up. I try to be thought more-or-less 'normal.' I hate it, but I hate more the sideways stares I get when I open my mouth.
It's been days since I've had a real unguarded conversation. Clearly I need to hunt someone down and babble at zir.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 12:00 am (UTC)and i'm available for any babbling you like. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 07:17 am (UTC)I will always remember Carsten as looking like
I will always remember Carsten as looking like <a "href=http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000494/">that guy in Dead Poets' Society</a>.