jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
Erin and I went camping last weekend with a couple dozen other folks. Camping remains a Good Thing for me generally. This spot in particular is just fantastic. It's on a sandy bank of the Stillaguamish river in the Washington Cascade Mountains. The river's, I dunno, fifty feet? a hundred? across, and the bed's filled with large rocks. Out in the middle it's deep enough that I can't touch bottom, but if you choose your path carefully you (I) can walk from one side to the other without fully submerging.

It's exactly what I needed. Sunlight and warmth and more sand than muck underfoot. I was barefoot outdoors for two straight days. I went swimming repeatedly, in water that was cold enough to be chilly but not so cold as to keep me from going in. I sat on rocks in the sun and watched tadpoles and water-striders and dragonfly larvae. I walked a small laybrinth, I found a bit of spiritual reconnection.

The ritual itself was a wash, mostly because my ability to social has been malfunctioning for at least the last month and a half. But it was good to be out in the woods and water, and out with other folks.



We drove up to her place on Monday, and I drove back on my own yesterday. It's a long drive but it remains absolutely gorgeous. Over twelve hours conifer forest gives way to scrub desert which turns into deep rocky canyon, then foothills straight up against river delta farmland. Majestic. Coming from the Appalachians, I didn't really believe mountains could be that big or that close.

I like driving the Fraser Canyon (roughly, Highway 1 between Cache Creek and Hope). I especially like driving down it: up is nice but for whatever reason one gets the best views going back down. Or maybe it's just that I'm more often driving down alone so I have more mental space to take in the scenery. Whatever the reason: when I can take a day to do that (two days, really, one up and one back down) and the weather's decent, I'm happy to do so.

And now I'm home and catching up on a great many things, including sitting with / petting / brushing Mr Tuppert. It is Good.
jazzfish: a Black woman in a headscarf, profile, with a bow and arrow tattoo on her shoulder (Artemis)
Why I Left Google: "Or: How I became the focus of a mass ritual against generative AI, and what I did about it."

I've had this open in a tab for, well, looks like three days per the post's datestamp, trying to figure out what if anything I have to say about it. It's good, and interesting; jmac might have a future in this wordsmithing business. And I clearly want to say something, and not just point and say "yes, this", though there's some of that as well.

I left / am leaving software in part for similar if less dramatic reasons. "Because 'tech' is three garbage fires in a trenchcoat" is my usual pithy summary. Maybe it always has been, maybe I've just been unlucky in employers. When you open with "defrauding the Virginia state police" it's maybe a sign. Three years ago it was "crypto" and NFTs, now it's AI. Everything gets a little worse every six months. And for two decades my job was to make it easier for people to make things worse.

Maybe it's the pivot point of ritual in jmac's post that gets me, the sharp demarcation between knowing-but-not-knowing and knowing-and-not-denying. Most of the time I keep on doing whatever it is because I don't think about doing anything different. Or when I do, the costs of not-doing overwhelm me. Sometimes choices get made for me, like last April. Sometimes I make them and don't realise I've done so. Both of those feel dishonest to me, I think. They're abdicating the responsibility for directing my life.

Or maybe, for instance, getting laid off was just a wakeup call, similar to jmac's experience. Only for me it was less This is morally repugnant and more This is not what I want to be doing. Sure, the moral repugnance makes a better story, not least because it's true, but it's not the main motivator. I left 'tech' because tech writing is a thing I do well and do not enjoy. I can keep doing things I do well and don't enjoy for a really long time, it turns out. It's just no way to live.

There's a ritual in a few weeks that I've been invited to. Same as last year: couple dozen folks camping by a river in the mountains of western Washington. I'm looking forward to it.

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Adventures in Mamboland

"Jazz Fish, a saxophone playing wanderer, finds himself in Mamboland at a critical phase in his life." --Howie Green, on his book Jazz Fish Zen

Yeah. That sounds about right.

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