drugged

[jazzfish]

A week ago, at around nine-thirty in the morning, my first round of dextroamphetamine arrived.

"I hope this has some effect," I thought as I took one. "It'd be really nice to be able to focus on something for longer than, like, an hour."

Six hours later I looked up from my video game and said "Oh, I guess I should eat some lunch. And feed the cat."

I had really not been expecting quite that dramatic a shift. It's particularly interesting because I don't feel any different. No emotional changes, no extra energy (or lethargy). I just ... don't get restless. I start doing a thing and I no longer have the "bored now" or "this is gonna be too hard, not doing it" or whatever it is that my brain cooks up to tell me I'm done doing whatever it is, at least for now. (Is... is this how normal people are all the time?)

It does have at least a slight appetite suppressant effect, which is fine since I've been ... not exactly stress-eating (though I've certainly had stress-related sugar cravings) but ... bored-eating. "Nothing is interesting, maybe I'll have a snack." There's been much less of that this week.

Still remains to be seen how effective it will be at getting schoolwork (and work-work once that's a thing) done in a reasonable time, but I'm optimistic. Good way to start the year.

Comments

[mneme]

Interesting! It sounds like it almost grants you an easier entry into hyperfocus? Which...is also not a neurotyp mode, but it -is- useful.

[jazzfish]

Yeah, that’s sort of what it seems like the most obvious effect is, so far. But there’s also just access to focus in general. I can set out to do X thing and an hour later or whatever it’s done, I didn’t need to argue with myself about getting started on it or whatever.

[shanaqui]

Interesting! Lisa's been on a non-stimulant ADHD medication for a while, and it really helped, but they're finally going to be allowed to try lisdexamfetamine. I'm really curious if they're going to have a similar experience, because it would help so much with some of the issues they describe to me. Are you finding there's a downside to it at all? (If you don't mind sharing!)

[jazzfish]

Best of luck to them! So far no downside, which matches my experience with ritalin thirty-mumble years ago. Evenings may be a little rough? It’s hard to tell thus far.

[reedrover]

No, normies don’t usually fall into video games for 6 hours. You may want to keep track of how long you hyper focus and talk with your doc about dialing in your dosage once you have a baseline.

Amusingly, your reaction was much the same as Ursula Vernon’s was when she started on ADHD meds. She was fascinated at being able to concentrate on one thing for more than an hour.

[jazzfish]

Thankfully(?) that hasn’t happened since. Apparently I just need to be aware of the possibility.

HA. Sounds about right. (See also: Ursula’s response to being told some of her characters were autistic-coded: “No they aren’t, they’re just normal people … like me … crap.”)

[greenstorm]

Have you tried doing non-discretionary activities (taxes, medical, I don't know) with it?

[jazzfish]

A little! Tidying/straightening, mostly. I haven’t noticed the hyperfocus there but I have noticed that I spend way less time on the couch thinking “I should do $thing” and otherwise trying to talk myself into it.

[thanate]

Fascinating. I had about a week of slightly worrying amounts of spun up heart rate & shortness of breath for the first hour or 3 after taken the med before adjusting, but then there was very much a sense of having my brain back; my kid (is ten & only on 10 mg XR but) didn't notice any difference at all, although *we* definitely can tell whether she's taken it by how hyper she gets in the afternoon/evening.

Hope it helps with the everyday life things!

[jazzfish]

I was on a very low dose of ritalin (I think it was 10mg morning and 5mg lunch but it might have been half that; I know it was “one pill at breakfast and half a pill at lunch”), so anecdata indicates that even that low a dose can help significantly. I don’t know that I got “hyper” but per notes in my medical file I definitely stopped paying attention to things I was told to do.

And thanks. :) I am optimistic, which is kinda nice!

[thanate]

I continue to find it mystifying that my child has a very hyper presentation when not in school, given that neither my brother nor I did much of that at all.

+10 to optimism!

[magedragonfire]

Good luck with it! I had a try-out with biphentin last year for similar reasons and ended up going off of it because it was interfering with sleeping, and it turns out me on lack of sleep is in way worse shape than me with the usual brain squirrels.

[jazzfish]

I haven't been sleeping well for ages now. I -am- noticing that I'm waking up a couple times at night, the past week, which is a new trick (used to be I'd wake up after five hours and not be able to get back to sleep), but there's a number of other things that could be contributing there as well. (New pillow, newish CPAP mask, cat who's decided that he wants attention at night, the heat's been wonky again...)