another castle
Aug. 14th, 2019 05:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jazzfishWhen I was young, probably around six years old, I did some thinking about fairy tales. About brave knights falling in love with princesses and rescuing them from dragons, about grateful princesses falling in love with their rescuing knights. The conclusion I came to was that it was possible for women to simply be loved, but men could only be loved if they did something to deserve it.
This is poisonous for lots of reasons, I know. I imagine any feminist scholar could have a field day with it. The bit I’m working on at the moment is that if I’m not loved, it’s because I haven’t done enough to deserve it. And there’s two (related) ways to tackle that: either do more to deserve it, or need less so I won’t have quite as much of a deficit to make up before I do deserve it.
On some level I know this is false, but I haven’t found anything to replace it with that I can believe that bone-deeply.
This is poisonous for lots of reasons, I know. I imagine any feminist scholar could have a field day with it. The bit I’m working on at the moment is that if I’m not loved, it’s because I haven’t done enough to deserve it. And there’s two (related) ways to tackle that: either do more to deserve it, or need less so I won’t have quite as much of a deficit to make up before I do deserve it.
On some level I know this is false, but I haven’t found anything to replace it with that I can believe that bone-deeply.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-04 05:54 pm (UTC)Loved.
You are enough.