walking forward looking back
Jan. 1st, 2013 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jazzfishA lot of people I know had a pretty rotten 2012. Mine wasn't awful, not really... just a sort of ongoing grind.
Money-wise... I've got my six-months' emergency fund in place. Now that work is offering a retirement plan I'm dumping money into that. I didn't keep my discretionary spending as low as I would have liked, and that combined with factors beyond my immediate control make the overall financial situation not so great. Eh, well. Heads remain above water, there's nothing to be done about it in the short term, and in the medium to long term it'll all work out.
For the first time in fifteen years I did not go to Origins, the big game convention in Ohio. Instead I went to Wiscon, Readercon in Boston, and World Fantasy in Toronto, plus the Rainforest Writers Retreat off in the Olympics. Seems that all my travel this year was for conventions or Virginia-visiting. (Seattle no longer counts as "travel," and Beach Week is effectively Virginian-visiting.) I... am not entirely pleased by this turn of events, except for how cons are fun! Something to bear in mind for next year.
I met several very cool people who are not so far away, at least two of whom (semilocal J-- and Karawynn) fall into the 'close friends' category. This new poly meet thing may work out as well. To the left, I lost a couple of friends for the first time in a very long time (breakup excepted), and my ability to stay in touch with people over the internet has plummetted. Though I have some vague hope that I've turned that last around recently.
(Also, because I haven't said this lately, you non-gender-specific guys who read and leave comments are universally awesome and supportive and wonderful. My life is more interesting, more fun, and more bearable because you're in it. Thank you.)
And after a strong start I wrote practically no fiction for most of the year. One story finished and submitted, with a couple of very nice rejection notes to show for it; one new story workshopped and in need of expansion; and a number of Good Ideas that I've yet to shape into anything. My fingers are starting to itch a bit. I hope that's a good sign.
I don't know. I started shutting down in March, I guess. It took me months to even admit that that was what was happening, much less begin to understand why or do anything about it. I'm often stressed and tired and lonely and I'm attacking some very old patterns, and everything in me is saying "go be brain-dead for awhile and maybe it'll be easier when you come back." This hasn't worked yet but that doesn't make it any less appealing on some level.
Last year I said that this has been a year of getting big pieces in place, of laying a foundation for the life I want to live. To stretch the metaphor, this year has been mortar for the foundation. The jury is still out on whether this cathedral requires a worker interred with the stones.
Money-wise... I've got my six-months' emergency fund in place. Now that work is offering a retirement plan I'm dumping money into that. I didn't keep my discretionary spending as low as I would have liked, and that combined with factors beyond my immediate control make the overall financial situation not so great. Eh, well. Heads remain above water, there's nothing to be done about it in the short term, and in the medium to long term it'll all work out.
For the first time in fifteen years I did not go to Origins, the big game convention in Ohio. Instead I went to Wiscon, Readercon in Boston, and World Fantasy in Toronto, plus the Rainforest Writers Retreat off in the Olympics. Seems that all my travel this year was for conventions or Virginia-visiting. (Seattle no longer counts as "travel," and Beach Week is effectively Virginian-visiting.) I... am not entirely pleased by this turn of events, except for how cons are fun! Something to bear in mind for next year.
I met several very cool people who are not so far away, at least two of whom (semilocal J-- and Karawynn) fall into the 'close friends' category. This new poly meet thing may work out as well. To the left, I lost a couple of friends for the first time in a very long time (breakup excepted), and my ability to stay in touch with people over the internet has plummetted. Though I have some vague hope that I've turned that last around recently.
(Also, because I haven't said this lately, you non-gender-specific guys who read and leave comments are universally awesome and supportive and wonderful. My life is more interesting, more fun, and more bearable because you're in it. Thank you.)
And after a strong start I wrote practically no fiction for most of the year. One story finished and submitted, with a couple of very nice rejection notes to show for it; one new story workshopped and in need of expansion; and a number of Good Ideas that I've yet to shape into anything. My fingers are starting to itch a bit. I hope that's a good sign.
I don't know. I started shutting down in March, I guess. It took me months to even admit that that was what was happening, much less begin to understand why or do anything about it. I'm often stressed and tired and lonely and I'm attacking some very old patterns, and everything in me is saying "go be brain-dead for awhile and maybe it'll be easier when you come back." This hasn't worked yet but that doesn't make it any less appealing on some level.
Last year I said that this has been a year of getting big pieces in place, of laying a foundation for the life I want to live. To stretch the metaphor, this year has been mortar for the foundation. The jury is still out on whether this cathedral requires a worker interred with the stones.
just to drive feels like passion
just to let the wheels roll on
engine light keeps on flashin'
don't know what has gone wrong
no subject
Date: 2013-01-02 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-03 07:04 am (UTC)