The lamp: taken.

[jazzfish]

I wonder...: "I wonder if people would say that we shouldn't rush to levy judgement on Dave just because I blogged that he punched me in the face." (Context is everything.)

Are polyamorous relationships hard?: "I just don’t buy that relationships are anywhere near the hard work that self-development is. Once you start focusing on the self-development part, the relationship part seems to be a pretty nice side effect of that." Word.

Tobias Buckell makes a good point in the steampunk war: "[S]teampunk is a just a modern iteration of the previous generation's pastoralism. Tolkien was looking back a couple hundred years to a time just outside his horizon and thinking of it as 'a better age' ... Now in the 21st century, our previous age was industrialization, that’s the age we look back to that’s *just* outside of our horizon where we can strip out all the negative stuff of the Industrial Age and think of it as a simpler age." Fair enough.

(Somehow when I linked to Charlie's rant I neglected to also link to Kate Beaton's definitive takedown of steampunkers. Now I can rectify that, and can also link to Eeyore's steampunk infestation of Star Wars.

Speaking of Star Wars, Ben Kenobi, Private Jedeye: "That's Greedo, the guy Han Solo shot first!"

---

The showing of GET LAMP and discussion afterwards were neat ("When Dave Lebling was writing Shogun, he'd write to Clavell's agent and ask 'why is this character doing this here?' and after awhile the agent would write back and say 'James doesn't remember.' I have footage of Dave apologizing for Shogun. It's great."). Seen a second time, it's... not exactly unfocused, but sprawling. It touches on an awful lot of stuff. The Richard Bartle rant ("Wouldn't it be great if we had the technology to tap directly into the imagination, so you could see all these things... well, we do, it's called text, and it's been around for about three thousand years") is still my favorite bit. I do want to sit people down and make them watch the Infocom "featurette" and the bit on A Mind Forever Voyaging, though.

And it was good to briefly see plumbob78 and baranoouji, and to hang out and talk with daghain and LJless-as-far-as-I-know Jen for awhile. I'm no longer feeling either shut in or overpeopled, which is kind of nice. Balancing the proper quantity (and quality) of People tends to be hard.

But I have books, and writing, and a shiny new computer, and when I need good people I can generally find some. It just takes some looking, sometimes.

Comments

[selki.livejournal.com]

Will Suspenders-Unix-guy laugh at sexist jokes? Will he comment that [most of] the women there are just there because of affirmative action? Will he agree that she was probably asking for it, even though he would never dream of sexually assaulting anyone whether she was "asking for it" or he was drunk, or not?

Because studies of "non-violent" (get 'em drunk acquaintance rape, the most common kind) sexual predators show that they actively LOOK for crowds where that kind of thing is NOT loudly objected to by multiple people, because that's the kind of environment that favors their getting away with assault, because even if the victim screws up the courage to tell people what happened, the odds are better that they won't be believed. The predators may tell a sexist joke just to test the waters ... even better if they don't have to expose themselves even in that mild way because someone else there is already telling sexist jokes, of course! So, I think it matters a lot to speak up against such things, even if I just spoke up against them yesterday, or an hour ago. It's partly a matter of personal safety. And it's important for it not just to be me/women speaking out against it.

I do not think the people who do not object (out loud, not just in their head) to sexist comments are trying to support rapists, or are responsible for the rapists' choices. But I do think their silence encourages rapists, no matter how much against rape they may be *inside their heads*.

I know some people are sick and tired of being held responsible for not actively discouraging rapists. I point them here (links to studies inside):
* http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/
We need to spot the rapists, and we need to shut down the social structures that give them a license to operate. They are in the population, among us. They have an average of six victims, women that they know, and therefore likely some women you know. They use force sometimes, but mostly they use intoxicants. They don’t accidentally end up in a room with a woman too drunk or high to consent or resist; they plan on getting there and that’s where they end up.

Listen. The women you know will tell you when the men they thought they could trust assaulted them; if and only if they know you won’t stonewall, deny, blame or judge. Let them tell you that they got drunk, and woke up with your buddy on top of them. Listen. Don’t defend that guy. That guy is more likely than not a recidivist. He has probably done it before. He will probably do it again.
...
Rapists know what works. They like to rape, they want to keep doing it, they want not to be caught. It is in their interest to be very sensitive to which accounts of rape are believed and which are attacked and to know which targets and methods are lowest-risk for them.

* Predator Theory: http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/03/25/predator-theory/ follow-up, with good analysis in comments

[rbandrews]

As far as I know, I have no idea who you are. I could be mistaken, but do you know me at all? If you don't why do you assume that I laugh at sexist jokes? If I am too afraid to speak up about gender issues, why would I start this thread at all?

[selki.livejournal.com]

I only know of you from comments on Jazzfish's journal and possibly other DW/LJ friends in common, but I didn't assume or imply that you laughed at sexist jokes or were afraid to speak up about gender issues.

[jazzfish]

Please reread Selki's comment. Nowhere in that comment did she assume or suggest that you laugh at sexist jokes.

This is Not About You. None of this has been about you. None of this is targeting you. I regret that it's caused you to feel targeted.