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jazzfishI seem to have picked the wrong week to show up for the writers' workshop. No one there. Waited for an hour, then went home.
Tried to write, couldn't keep focus. Tried to talk, couldn't find words.
I'd say "and tomorrow will be better," but realistically? Tomorrow will be more of the same.
(I have a pretty good idea of what's going on, and it's got very little to do with the previous stresses and an awful lot to do with some childish fears and desires. It's real enough, in the sense that I'm feeling it; it's not actually real, in the sense that it's not based in reality.)
Update 7:50 AM Friday: holy cow this week gets better every goddamn day. Failed to keep to the running schedule, crapping out around 14'30" instead of the 20' needed to stay on track, and I'm developing a nice purplish-red blister on my left foot.
Okay, so, Monday I freaked out a bit less than usual, and Tuesday there was good gaming, and Thursday I got to see a little of a big fat red sunset on my way home from the nonexistent writers' group, and today I ran further than I have before without stopping, and I'm sure there was something positive about Wednesday. Shit.
I mean, seriously. Even a do-over won't help, everything will still be waiting to drop at its appointed time. Nuke the week from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Tried to write, couldn't keep focus. Tried to talk, couldn't find words.
I'd say "and tomorrow will be better," but realistically? Tomorrow will be more of the same.
(I have a pretty good idea of what's going on, and it's got very little to do with the previous stresses and an awful lot to do with some childish fears and desires. It's real enough, in the sense that I'm feeling it; it's not actually real, in the sense that it's not based in reality.)
Update 7:50 AM Friday: holy cow this week gets better every goddamn day. Failed to keep to the running schedule, crapping out around 14'30" instead of the 20' needed to stay on track, and I'm developing a nice purplish-red blister on my left foot.
Okay, so, Monday I freaked out a bit less than usual, and Tuesday there was good gaming, and Thursday I got to see a little of a big fat red sunset on my way home from the nonexistent writers' group, and today I ran further than I have before without stopping, and I'm sure there was something positive about Wednesday. Shit.
I mean, seriously. Even a do-over won't help, everything will still be waiting to drop at its appointed time. Nuke the week from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 12:40 am (UTC)It's got to be better next week. *hug*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 01:22 am (UTC)