cleaning by gender

[jazzfish]

Pandagon commenter Jeff Fecke nails it like Digby:

I’m a slob. And I prefer things neat to dirty. But I live on my own, and that means that I let things get dirty. Guess why? Because as a boy, I was never told that my value as a human being was directly tied to how neat I kept my house.

This is almost exactly right. Growing up, Mom and Jamie and I did weekly (or maybe biweekly?) house-cleaning, featuring vacuuming, dusting, and bathrooms divided in some fashion. I usually dusted and sometimes vacuumed. I never did the bathrooms, with the result that I actually had to rely on uilos to teach me how to clean a bathroom some years ago. (Yes, that is rather deeply embarrassing.) But keeping a clean house was never really made my responsibility. I was delegated to. I never owned those tasks. They weren't a part of me. Verdict: vacuuming is done when people are coming over (so, about once every three months), because that's what prompts me to notice the hair-between-the-toes (not really anything else, just the hair); bathroom is cleaned when I remember to (every month or two); and I think I dusted once when I got tired of having dusty bookshelves.

I was, however, told that my value as a human being was directly tied to how neat I kept my room-- not clean, per se, but neat. (Like most kids I had a perpetually messy room. Draw your own conclusions.) This is why, when you come to my house, you see very little in the way of clutter. Because god forbid I allow anyone to see Stuff, Just Lying Around And Being Untidy.

If I’d been told as a child that a dirty house reflected poorly on me as a man, I probably would be cleaner, but more neurotic about it. And that wouldn’t be a positive thing. And it isn’t a positive thing for the women who are dealing with it, because they were told, in so many ways, that a clean house proved their worth. Gee, I wonder why men don’t see dirt the way women do?

Comments

[shadowsong.livejournal.com]

I have the "neat, not clean" mentality as well. My mother felt bad about not cleaning more often, but not motivated to clean more often, although I'm sure I can blame most of my dirt on my own personal quirks. I organize, I don't clean. I will put all the trash paper in neat stacks, but I won't actually throw it away.

And I have too much hair for vacuuming to help, anyways - most of the problem involves hair woven into my socks by the washing machine.

[jazzfish]

My mother felt bad about not cleaning more often, but not motivated to clean more often

That's half the battle right there; the other half is not feeling bad about it. :)

If I didn't a) have long hair, and b) keep being so darn attracted to long-haired women, I would totally get a Roomba. Sadly they do really poorly with hair.

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

It seems totally out of character for me, but I am a complete slob about everything except the kitchen. I'm especially bad about cleaning the shower, because I don't wear my glasses in the shower and I never see how gross it is.

[uilos.livejournal.com]

jazzfish is the same way about the shower. :)

[uilos.livejournal.com]

You did come pre-trained for carpets, dishes, and laundry. Which is two items more than my brother did.

I have a strange reaction to housework. I'm not that huge a fan of it but I hate having messy/dirty living space. And I'm not willing to pay someone to do what I am perfectly capable of doing on my own - maybe this would change if I had the income to pay someone to come in a vacuum once a week for me.

[uilos.livejournal.com]

Eh still rambling. Everyone should live a year or two in their own place to learn to take responsibility for all of their own housework.

No one expects a guy to have a clean house when he's on his own. I find it amusing/depressing how many people have said something to me about how clean your place is for a guy living alone. I suspect they tell me this because they're suprised that it is clean and cleaning is women's work therefore I must have been the major player in getting things straightened up. Credit should go where credit is due but I bet somehow it doesn't even get back to you.

[jazzfish]

I find it amusing/depressing how many people have said something to me about how clean your place is for a guy living alone.

Are these people who have witnessed you cleaning my stove? :)

Seriously, though, I've not heard any of that. Maybe they recognise that it's a pretty backhanded compliment. Or maybe as a boy I'm not supposed to care about how clean my place is and it just magically happens to be clean without any effort on my part. (This is, incidentally, not wholly untrue. Any clean-ness in the kitchen tends to be a result of disasters that require a thorough scrubbing, like the time the sink flooded and required me to mop the floor. And keeping public areas neat comes naturally; see above.)

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Um, er, I am apparently an honorary bachelor.