breakdown cont'd

I appear to be breaking down. I've been hyperstressed re work and other for at least four months and probably longer, I've had a sharp lack of focus. Tonight I had difficulty feeding myself. Nothing was food, or at least not food I wanted to eat. This is a new trick my brain is pulling and I do not appreciate it at all. Part of my selfimage is of being Really Good at taking care of myself or at least of my immediate needs, and that includes eating meals or at least a bowl of cereal when necessary.

I'm taking tonight and tomorrow as a mental health day. I have a counselor again as of today and I think she'll do alright at least for now. But this... this is not sustainable. Job is being continually not good for me, in ways that are not just "i am having trouble adapting to new thing."

I hope it's just this job and not 'a new job' in general. I'm honestly a little scared (not a lot, but a little) that something in me has broken and I am not able to function at a high level in a tech writing job, and I don't know what I do if that's the case.

So. Noting here so that it's noted if I go looking later.