"yesterday was blue, like smoke..."

This year I'm most thankful for my ex-job. I'm thankful that it got me here, into permanent residency, and paid for two of us to live quite well for quite awhile. And now I'm thankful that it went away at what looks more and more like exactly the right time.

I'm also thankful that I'm in a situation where I can not have a job. I have the time and space to let my brain decompress from years and years of stress and expectations and trying to fit into the wrong boxes, and I have health insurance and savings and uilos's job.

I am thankful that Chaos has come out the other side of thyroid problems and is still his happy stubborn friendly self, and that Kai enjoys the hardwood floor here enough to bat toys up and down it at three in the morning. I'm thankful that they both come and sit with me from time to time.

I'm thankful for friends: local or far-away, in frequent contact or seen only rarely or ignored for far too long. I miss you non-gender-specific guys. I hope to be better about staying in contact and reaching out now that my brain has started to regrow, but no promises.

And always, always, for uilos. Love you.