(no subject)
Feb. 28th, 2003 04:33 pmN's post and commentary
Yeah. This sounds like a Private entry to me. Or maybe E/K only. [As I no longer care what Nathan thinks, this has been opened to all, as of 2009-06-17. It may be relocked at some future date.]
I'd make it a comment in the entry in question but there's a game tonight and I have work and game is so not the time to deal with fallout from this. So I'll make it a comment either tomorrow or when I get back from break.
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What to do when you piss someone off that you care about:
1. You apologize, assuming you weren't intending to piss them off to begin with. First damn thing you do. It is far easier to regain trust/respect/affection if you take steps to deal with the damage immediately. Whether you think you were in the wrong or not, they certainly see it as such, and an apology will open important channels of communication for the second step.
(Of course, if you were intending to piss them off to begin with, you congratulate yourself and move on with life.)
2. You determine exactly what went wrong. Communication is vital here. Some amount of tact is also vital; the other person is very emotional, and prodding at the hurt will cause them to lash out. Be gentle.
Note that someone who is pissed off for insufficient reason is likely to feel some remorse in addition to the anger, making the next two steps less of an issue once communication has been established.
3. You make amends. This may be as simple as the aforementioned apology, or it may be more involved.
4. You don't do it again. ""Do or do not; there is no try." Intending not to do it again is worthless (for one point, complete the phrase: "The road to Hell is paved...").
Thoughts?
Yeah. This sounds like a Private entry to me. Or maybe E/K only. [As I no longer care what Nathan thinks, this has been opened to all, as of 2009-06-17. It may be relocked at some future date.]
I'd make it a comment in the entry in question but there's a game tonight and I have work and game is so not the time to deal with fallout from this. So I'll make it a comment either tomorrow or when I get back from break.
---
What to do when you piss someone off that you care about:
1. You apologize, assuming you weren't intending to piss them off to begin with. First damn thing you do. It is far easier to regain trust/respect/affection if you take steps to deal with the damage immediately. Whether you think you were in the wrong or not, they certainly see it as such, and an apology will open important channels of communication for the second step.
(Of course, if you were intending to piss them off to begin with, you congratulate yourself and move on with life.)
2. You determine exactly what went wrong. Communication is vital here. Some amount of tact is also vital; the other person is very emotional, and prodding at the hurt will cause them to lash out. Be gentle.
Note that someone who is pissed off for insufficient reason is likely to feel some remorse in addition to the anger, making the next two steps less of an issue once communication has been established.
3. You make amends. This may be as simple as the aforementioned apology, or it may be more involved.
4. You don't do it again. ""Do or do not; there is no try." Intending not to do it again is worthless (for one point, complete the phrase: "The road to Hell is paved...").
Thoughts?