Sep. 6th, 2001

jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
i am tired and uncreative. this makes work difficult. it also makes slacking at work difficult, since to slack effectively i need to _look_ busy. OTOH, no one is in here right now.

you know, i was all about this job when i got here. but it's becoming more like working at exegetics every day. not nearly as bad, of course. there is no Favored Son, and there are no twelve-hour days yet. but the general feeling of "you'll work overtime because everyone else has to". the overly laissez-faire attitude towards testing and documentation. (dan actually said "what we need to do is take a month off from adding new features and just sit down and test this thing fully." he won't do it, but he said it. that made me feel better. he then blew off my next three bug reports as mere graphics errors and unimportant.)

which goes some way towards explaining why i don't feel too bad goofing off when i should be redoing the index, or making sure graphics are in the right format, or even testing. at this point i'd say roughly one in four of the bugs i find warrant mention other than "put it in DCL [the bug tracker]". of those, perhaps one in three will be fixed within two days, and the rest languish in obscurity for anywhere from two weeks to three months (or longer-- that's as long as i've been here, though). this is less than a ten percent return on my work. this is, shall we say, insufficient. and the documentation is no better; no one whatsoever cares what changes are made to it. this is to be expected, though; no one in the company needs to look at the documentation. makes sense.

today i feel ennui. on-wee. lethargy. dissolution. (what a good word. i'll have to remember it.) i feel like things fall apart, and i can't get up the energy to care. good thing i've only got the one class, and that the professor is decent. also good thing that going to class = not being at work, which is a good enough reason to go.

whee. another hour and a half and then i can go home.
jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)

time won't stand by forever
if i know it's true
and i've learned not to say never
else i'll seem the fool
29 you'd think i'd know better
living like a kid
when my lies may seem less than clever
is when i fall for it

only time will tell if wishing wells
can bring us anything
or fade like scenes from childhood dreams
forgotten memories

some rides don't have much of a finish
that's the ride i took
through good & bad & straight through indifference
without a second look
there's no intention worthy of mention
if we never try
so hang your hopes on rusted-out hinges
take 'em for a ride

--j valenzuela, c. 1992

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jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
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Adventures in Mamboland

"Jazz Fish, a saxophone playing wanderer, finds himself in Mamboland at a critical phase in his life." --Howie Green, on his book Jazz Fish Zen

Yeah. That sounds about right.

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