down and back again

[jazzfish]

Went down to Blacksburg this weekend to try and say my goodbyes. Saw most of the handful of important people (and got a wonderful massage from faekitty, was bemused and annoyed by all the new construction that's gone up in the last few years, drove around in a downpour and visited most of my old residences. Apartment Six (and Four and One) are still standing, but they've been boarded up and graffiti'd. That was a little disconcerting.

I seem to be done with Blacksburg: enough of it isn't what I remember that I could process and put away the memories I have. Campus still calls me, though. I'd really wanted to have a couple of hours to walk around it, to say "this is where i was and now i'm not there." I got a little of that this morning, standing on top of the chapel (LJ link) and looking out over the drillfield. The view from there hasn't changed much in fifteen years.

"College" was a confusing mess for the most part. I'd like to be able to integrate it better into who I am now. Maybe next time.

Comments

Blacksburg

[notmatt]

You know, I had a similar post-graduate relationship with Blacksburg. I spent seven years "in exile" as it were, looking forward to the day when I could go back. Every year, I'd fly back for Technicon (when there _was_ a proper Technicon), and every year the Burg had drifted further from what I remembered. My memory of it during my college days are probably some Platonic ideal version of it that never actually existed. Then I finally did move back to the East Coast and there's not much of Blacksburg left for me. I still have some friends there, but more of them have moved away by now. Many of the places I used to know are gone or changed. Technicon is gone (this McBryde nonsense doesn't count).

Even if the town were the same as I left it ten years ago, _I've_ changed. I realized the shift at a SAMA meeting at UC Santa Cruz. I'd always joined the anime club at whatever school I was at. VTAS as an undergrad, Anime Anonymous in grad school, SAMA as a postdoc. At Santa Cruz it started to get weird, since I was measurably older than the others. One of the student members referred to us as "the coolest adults [he] knows", and that's when I realized I was too old for it. I'm not going to be that creepy older guy hanging out on campus (even if I work there).

Living in a college town isn't the same on the faculty side of things. A grad student can live at once in both worlds, but it doesn't work after that. And doing both in the same college town would be really weird. Blacksburg's been called the "Black Hole", in reference to the tendency of people to be unable to achieve escape velocity. For me it's the reverse. I had no trouble getting out, but all trajectories that would carry me back in point into the past.

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

I miss the campus. I wish I had a reason to visit once in a while.

[jazzfish]

Yeah, it's a little too far for a reasonable day trip, so it's been easy to say "eh, maybe some other time." Advantages of being nearly out of "some other times," I guess.

[bitbug.livejournal.com]

Well crap I failed yet again to connect with old friends. I wouldn't say we ever got to be good friends but I remember fondly the days in Blacksburg when you and Emily were still around. Take care of yourself man.

[jazzfish]

This wasn't quite a last-minute trip, but close. I'm a little surprised I managed to wrangle time with as many people as I did.

And, thanks, and yeah. Shadowrun was good times, and Walden's under you was the least bad of the customer-service work experiences I've had.

I expect I'll be back at some point; I just don't know when. Will try to let you know and catch up!

[absolutliz.livejournal.com]

I miss campus a lot, and I miss all my peeps (or rather, the relatively small number of peeps I hung out with) but what I really miss is all the damn spare time! I had this great ground floor apartment, all to myself, it was clean, dirt cheap, huge, and away from the center of town. I had my IKEA furnishings, my weekly trip to WalMart, I made pie all the time, and for a number of semesters I had no classes on Friday, and no classes again till Monday at 4pm. Long weekends EVERY WEEKEND! God, it was glorious.

I should have dated more those few years, though. I was such a chickenshit back then.

[jazzfish]

Oh god yes. I realised a couple of years ago that I've somehow gone from having plenty of time but no money to having plenty of money but no time, and I miss that time so damn much. It's gotten to the point where I'm envious of the people I know who've had major surgery, because they at least get to have a week or two off of work...

I should have dated more those few years, though. I was such a chickenshit back then.

I think this myself from time to time. Didn't appreciate the social situation I had until it was long gone.