Jan. 19th, 2025

jazzfish: A small grey Totoro, turning around. (Totoro)
Any summary of the events of 2024 is necessarily overshadowed by: a week ago Erin broke up with me. Details don't matter; I made a couple of choices that hurt her, and she decided she was done. To me it feels a little shocking and somewhat ... not inevitable, but maybe right. We'd been struggling with keeping the relationship at a level where 'good' encompassed more time than 'work' for a long time, compounded by at least somewhat divergent ideas of what the relationship entailed, or should entail, or something.

I spent last Sunday in a daze of sadness and semifunctionality, and was well cared for. Since then ... I don't really know? Absorbing, adjusting. I don't think I'm shutting down or shutting up. Ask me again in a week, maybe.

We're still friends, still talking. Remains to be seen where that will land, I guess. At this point I'm used to exes' pronouncements of "we'll still be friends" turning into radio silence, so I'm hopeful but not wholly optimistic.

(Comments off; sympathy and well-wishes are taken as given, and I'm not particularly up to pretending to be a social human around it.)
jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
2024 was, in a lot of ways, 2023 redux. Not super surprising, I guess.

another year in the rear view )

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jazzfish: Jazz Fish: beret, sunglasses, saxophone (Default)
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Adventures in Mamboland

"Jazz Fish, a saxophone playing wanderer, finds himself in Mamboland at a critical phase in his life." --Howie Green, on his book Jazz Fish Zen

Yeah. That sounds about right.

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