Words are inadequate

things of interest, short form

2019-09-11T05:46:22Z

*squints at textfile of half-finished entries*

I don't know if this is a stress response or what, but: lately I'm getting plot-anxious when reading books I've not read before. I've only consciously noticed it recently, with Fonda Lee's Green Bone trilogy (which is /great/ for lots of reasons). There came a bit, maybe a third of the way through the first book, where it looked like a major character might die, and I caught myself flipping towards the back of the book looking for dialog tags with their name. (They did /not/ die, which I ascertained quickly. It's an open question what I would have done if they had died, since that's not something that can be trivially established with a random sample.) It's weird.

I'm managing it by alternating new-book with reread, which is also good in that I retain books that I've read twice substantially better than books I've only read once. (This leads to the problem of "I remember disliking that book but I no longer remember why.")

This past weekend Erin and I saw a Canadian-themed boylesque performance, including a suggestive Newfie (the people not the dog) and a very raunchy rendition of what I am told is a French-Canadian children's classic. The show was not precisely sexy, but then the only other burlesque I've seen wasn't exactly sexy either. It /was/, both were, an awful lot of fun, and I got to smile a lot and laugh out loud a few times.

( description of injury )

( par-tay / sarah )

I used to get annoyed at my counselor for being of the sit-with-it-and-see-what-comes-up school of sorting through difficult brain-stuff. And it's entirely possible that a more proactive approach might have gotten me somewhere faster: I am really good at avoiding thinking about / being aware of things that might be difficult to process. However, I will admit that when this method works, it's a) effective and b) non-traumatic, both of which are nice. I may even be getting towards some sort of resolution / accommodation for some of my increasingly misnamed abandonment stuff.

comments

a small array of good things

2018-09-06T18:01:29Z

We've unevacuated. The fire's listed as "contained," which I think means "it's probably not going to break through, unless something really unexpected happens." The evacuation order/alert was lifted on Sunday as Erin & Josh were rolling out from Williams Lake, and the house is getting back into shape.

Relatedly, it's autumn up here. There was fog a few mornings ago, and temps in the lower teens. I miss fall. It won't last long, I expect; the garden's already getting frost at night. Still.

Relatedly, plans for the Great October Nonworkening are afoot. So far all I know for certain is that it starts with Scintillation (successor to Farthing Party) in Montreal over Canucksgiving. Possibilities include MD Renfest, gaming in Arlington with John Kerr et al, and a trip to Blacksburg. (Now if the IRS would just give me my %&$ tax refund so I could start making solid plans...)

I have made pancakes, on a dry castiron griddle even, and they turned out well. (Previous experiments in making pancakes on castiron have tended to involve A Lot Of Oil, because that provides the texture Erin prefers and because when I'm at home I tend to use my nonstickish aluminum griddle.) This, coupled with yesterday's almost wholly satisfactory experiment in grilling cheeses, is likely to result in the elimination of the nonstickish aluminum griddle from my kitchen stock. I'm okay with this; it's had enough sticky burnt onto it that it's a pain to clean.

I did not in fact lose a friend last week.

Poking around looking for covers of Nick Cave's "The Ship Song" other than Concrete Blonde's, whose version I consider definitive solely by virtue of being the first one I heard, and I came up with the Sydney Opera House version. Moving and impressive.

Next Tuesday I will know whether Apple will deign to release another phone with Objectively Correct proportions (the iPhone 5/SE form factor; I explicitly Do Not Want a phone that is difficult to manipulate with only one hand, plus I like my headphone jack), and will be able to take steps to replace my dropped-too-often phone that currently has difficulty with things like "being a phone."

I have Commonweal 4 (Under One Banner) awaiting me on my phone; I have Yoon Ha Lee's Machineries of Empire with me here; at home I have the next volumes of Walter Jon Williams's space opera awaiting me. Not to mention books by Kat Howard, Claire Humphrey, and Fonda Lee. I'm continually committing Schopenhauer's error of mistaking the acquisition of books for the time in which to read them, but then I've been doing that for years and years now. It's just gotten worse in the last N.

I have a remarkable number of folks who love me and care about my wellbeing. I am not entirely certain what to do with this information, as "believe it entirely" is somewhat difficult.

comments

endings

2017-07-03T03:06:35Z

PSA: uilos and I have split up.

We still love each other a lot, and it's gonna be pretty rough for both of us for awhile. That said, if you feel like you need to choose between Team Tucker and Team Emily, I suspect Team Emily will need the support.

Doubt I'll be replying to comments, but we'll see.

comments

morning links

2017-03-07T15:33:14Z

Advice on how to play a gig, by Thelonious Monk: two pages of handwritten notes from Monk. "Don't play everything (or everytime); let some things go by. Some music's just imagined."

I Stopped Trying To Be Quiet During Sex & Here's What Happened: "I often forget to take care of myself, and to give myself the kindness I'd give to someone else."

When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship: "Maybe I looked like some nerdy gigolo or this elegant woman's attentive secretary. If we made no sense from the outside, it didn't matter. We were mostly looking at each other."

Snakisms: variations on the old game Snake, each inspired by various philosophical 'ism's (stoicism, asceticism, existentialism, etc). Hilarious.

comments

a smaller list than often, but no fewer thanks

2016-10-11T02:05:03Z

This year we're not really celebrating Canucksgiving. We had a quietish weekend at home, since uilos did *not* fly out to the southern tip of the Outer Banks in a hurricane. I am, however, drinking an Orange Julius in YVR and waiting to board a plane to SFO, and thence to DC for a little over twenty-four hours and then to Martha's Vineyard for the VP reunion.

It's a bit sad to miss out on an opportunity to gorge on good foods in good company, though. uilos is already talking about cooking a turkey for Yanksgiving next month. I am not objecting to this plan in the slightest.

The lack of a big celebratory feast makes the holiday feel smaller, more compact, more personal. I'm okay with that. The couple of things I'm most thankful for are pretty personal too.

There's uilos, obviously. I can say "Graydon has spoiled you for epic fantasy, hasn't he?" and she nods sorrowfully and then we spend the next five minutes talking about whether The March North ought to be labeled Book 0 Of The Commonweal. Such people are to be treasured, and you can't have this one because I found her first. (I mean, unless she decides she wants to.) Also, it is now and not seven years ago, and Now Is Not Then (something that perhaps she realised before I did), and while I wasn't looking we seem to have built ourselves a solid foundation for the next while.

"Only another fifty years,"
I say, "and then I promise
to let you go."
--Elise Matthessen, "Response ..."

And if Thanksgiving came in mid-September instead of mid-October, there it would have stayed, with probably some added grumbling about things that aren't as bad as I complain about them to be. Instead I get green-haired Erin, and what seems so far to be exactly the right relationship at exactly the right time. Erin, who patiently wormed her way past my defences, who thrives on touch as much as I do, who has become a Significant Presence in my life far faster than I would have ever expected. I am deeply curious to see the shape that this takes as it continues to develop; meanwhile, I'm thankful that someone who meshes so well with my quirks has dropped out of the north and into my life.

(I am not nearly prepared to quote poetry about Erin. I am barely ready to quote poetry to her.)

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

comments

so, that was a (Paper-ful) weekend

2011-01-31T20:36:12Z

As previously mentioned, rbandrews and diadelphous came out from Texas for the weekend. On Friday they braved the flurrying snow and went into the District to wander through the Smithsonian, accompanied by uilos. I joined them all for dinner at Afterwords and we browsed the bookstore and got cupcakes from Hello Cupcake. (While waiting for them I had time to read It's A Book, which was very cute and also had a monkey.)

HC was out of the day's gluten-free cupcakes, which was a disappointment since half the point of going to Dupont was to pick some up so we'd have them the next day. Oh well. The cupcakes they had were delicious and totally worth the trip.

( But why, you may ask, did we need gluten-free cupcakes? )

Sunday we got up and saw our Texan visitors off, and stopped by my parents' place for my father's birthday lunch. Then we came home and collapsed for several hours.

People keep asking me if I feel any different. The only answer I've been able to come up with is "Now I have less cake."

comments